Captives of Darkness

The captives of the night, they chose
to live the life of the wilting rose
with each petal dropped to rise above and grow
and glow! through the rain and frostbitten snow.

Life is suffering the Buddha wrote
so recognize, be strong, and grasp the flow
live life eight fold.

we captives seem monsters to those who don't
grasp the knowledge of ebb and flow,
they will not see love in a icy moon
they won't know the romance behind a swoon.

The day beasts are quiet
in their effervescent riot
while in darkness we learn the beauty of silence.

captives are captives
we can't re-track.
We don't believe in comfort
outside the black.

I, for one will never look back.
though I may have known once,
I don't care to go back.

Gratitude

A song exists from a to z
that I refer to as good company.
You sang our story loud and moved away from me
but for a moment, you warmed my eternity.

For all the moments you had with me,
I'm glad you exist in my eternity.

Love note

You make my mind far wander
my heart beat skip
I've spent years knowing you but just now sipped
the exquisite flavor that is your loveliness
what I wouldn't give for just one kiss.

To drink in the glow that you exude
and act out your fantasies, however lewd,
let us prepare for a brand new sight
the passion of each other: some day, each night.

I'll be the lost soul and you be the light
I think of holding you, sleep well, goodnight.

Life's Heartbeat

Two little talons gripping the heart
One called Love and one called Truth.
each time it beats, one is a part
and every heart beats its fastest in youth.

Pitter goes love and pat goes truth
torn between two great worlds-
forever will it amaze me too
that pain was my savior and its proprietor: girls.

The eagle kneads my heart in life
squeezing "lub dub, lub dub"-
love the "lub," fighting in strife
and truth the "dub," what is possible tonight.

If only the two could be one in the same
but maybe that would stop my heart.
I'd give that girl my everything, my name
but truth beats stronger so to life, I embark.

The and...

It comes. It comes. The boat. I see her.
The ferryman waves me in.
I see. I know. I go to greet her-
In the art film of my life, I'm finally at, "fin."

Infections spread from lack of care,
I told not a single soul.
Outside my head is burning up and yet I feel so cold.

I think I'll rest and say goodnight.
It's love like a fuming parisian-
Swish and slide across Styx to light
And onward to Elysian.

I'll rest in love with death's escape
And fade away should I ever wake...

Stream

In the mind of a gangster, I'm stressing and repressing the lyrical words/ and climbing and climbing to get higher/ 'cause this world don't know me, they can blow me, till I return.

I mock little ingrates who test my patience/ alleviation nation injecting whatever satiates/ the wicked flow of virus that Burns through your mind/ with boredom hoarding more sordid things for some, unlucky, to find. I cap my tolerance at maybe/ I might have a baby/ cause I fucked so many women who just wanted me to go crazy/ raw dog and bail other wise they wouldn't have laid me/ this is the Neo apocalypse where apathy is the way see: a lot of mother fuckers they just sit on the line/ and success is too much work for the bitches that are fine/ so they take what they want from a cat that's willing to give it/ no love or emotional contact/ "this is life", they say, "live it."

Pretty little biddies stake a claim on romance/ but you know they won't take chance, they just want you in their pants. A spiritual world where we devoted to violence/ and the reciprocity is good people devoted to silence/ I suppose it's all about, "just do what you can"/ and be careful not to die when you finally land.

It's soft as sand paper in the depths of my heart/ maybe one day I'll wake up to see people whose hearts work and start.

Last of the day

I write rhymes that win, in time, repetitively/ the greatest creator of the entire century/ to stand on the shoulders of god's who mentored me/ through their rhymes and wisdom like grenadine/ makes a drink sweet that we sip with our lives/ independant of the cruelty that can end with the scythes/ of shinegami who reap the mass nature of pawns/ in an off beat world where they say "you're just wrong for"/ I never thought of this as just some dumb chore/ I speak my heart-felt words like a willing whore/ I'll get cut down because I'm chilling and I like what I do/ and I like the raw feelings I get from each and every crew. I've traveled the tribes like denizens of mesopotamia/ and burst through the mind like bullets through craniums/ It's draining to see this world, a vapid universe again and again/ all I wanted was a lover who could be my best friend/ I want to feel vibrations like the affects of the bends/ and to die by your side is such a heavenly way to end.

After Midnight

Raindrops fall on painted tapestries
With yellow and greens and reds.
Painted like the illumination that colleges endure
To put money in their pockets and gold plated shoes on their feets.

Raising the future bankers of tomorrow
To create the next group of elites
No sorrows for the dead and dying
In the menagerie of different streets.

Painted by goya mixing red, whites and blacks
A chemical reaction from which there's no turning back
Suffering is peaked in hoods they can't paint their fences in
All because of arguing over an amount of melanin.

It's al$o about money
Gotta be holding or look funny
Dressed in the same clothes smeared with fry oil
A mess on a sun day; toil

I breath repression till my eyeballs broil
walking quilted tapestries on what used to be soil
And all the world watches from their crafted lawns
The people training these kings to be middle men pawns.

Your games fucked up, cuz
These ballers remember their bloods.
One nation, one spirit, one fury,
One love

Life leads to you

Life is long and twisting dear
But life leads to you.
Each and every time I've feared
You've now ended them by giving truth-

That one day I would find romance
In the vagrancy of youth-
One day I would be vindicated
Because life leads to you.

So long to my days as vagabond
So long to hoping I might see sooth-
For resting in life's hard embrace
Shows me life leads to you.

Hope eternal and loving lost
Has brought me pain with truth
But all I had was time and patience
For years have shown me life leads to you.

So I can rest in peace tonight
Without the security of groups
And wake up to tomorrow calm
For despite my wrongs,
Life leads to you.

Sweet and Simple

Oh Seraphim and cherubim
light me with this fire again-
One angel's mine to warm within
Mon belle, Michelle, my Seraphim.

Regret for emoting

Of all the goals of those more bold
There's strength in apathy and hearts so cold-
They forge a path with blinded eyes
towards futures of routine and loveless lives.

No life is won without reservation
alas, I hate my full sensations.

Full moon thoughts

The light encrusted soul of old
gleams like dull and greening gold.
Lest fear overwhelm our sympathies-
some of us choose a different person to be.

We strive along the weary road
attempting to flourish on what we know-
and yet we miss out on the souls we've sold
the road not taken is often our own.

So sip sweet nectar vagrant children-
rise to the occasions your drifting goes
one day you'll awaken to the rhythm of the world
or perish without knowing the need to know.

In any case, I can sleep tonight
with the hope you'll join me in this fight
to surrender fake freedoms for doing right
and enjoy love in an effortless plight.

Oh how the doldrums whine tonight
just do right and fight,
your uniquely individual fights.

Missing you

I hate this little college town
and can't stand the Virginia air.
I miss the smell of cat pee
and your voice back when you cared.

I see the things I should have done differently
and cannot change a thing
I love you still and yet you're gone
I'm a robin without its wings.

I'm sorry I couldn't be the man I said I was
I'm sorry for the pain I caused you
and also that we're done.

Life Lesson

Why should we not love completely
if it's in our nature to do so?
The pressure of being who your expected to be
causes the loss of hope.

Being a foreigner to yourself
only closes doors
and causes those with loving energy
to require more and more.

Like the waterfall that's damed completely
there eventually will be a spillway
life cannot always be wrapped so neatly
when your made the lover since birth.

Forget the lap of luxury and
forget the things you're told to want.
Want the things that represent you
want and strive for those, my son.

You could have the road less taken
and you could have your glory
but lost you'll be if you're not true to yourself
and believe me, son, that's a true story.

I've learned from experience that it will hurt if you
try and be someone for someone else
be yourself and you'll at least have you
and with that, this story is shelved.

Checking In

I felt like running but I ended up walking
I felt like screaming but I ended up talking
I felt like breathing but you took my breath away
and now I'm stuck to you even when you push me away.

Sometimes my dreams are better than life
when we both live in such unrelenting strife
I want to see day but now I only see night
"We're glowing like the metal on the edge of the knife."



If I sleep, I hope to wake to my dreams
life is much better in the movie scenes...

Stream of consciousness: 12:59 AM MST 5/11/11

oh that fire water there
ran merrily like a sea
deep into the heart of me
Drunk and stupid like a bee.

I drank to joyful Sally
who loved her handsome men
and fuck and fuck till she was sore
but then she'd do it again.

SING! That fire water there
ran merrily like a sea
deep into the heart of me
drunk and stupid like a bumble bee!!!!

Breaking it down

I make a killing off of fantasy/ never asked for clemency/ too much sugar coats make you blind to this cruel world of reality/ I've had many dreams that have ended in tears/ when all I wanted was to live connected for the rest of my years/ a psycho-analyst can syphon sick, sad stories from a brain/ but can they really solve the case: how to end all the pain? Why reconcile with the mild when you can win the game, insane? Like the lame Charlie Sheen brain/ a 16 year old boy needing to be tamed/ tell you what I'm gonna end this on a positive note: No matter who you are, you'll die: you're life's a f*cking joke.

StOC

I break fast rhythms into my soul
blackness affects me while I'm trimmed with gold
a silver lining is not enough I don't give a fuck if you offer protection or proverbial fluff this game is on
we racing wild like triads in the streets of Hong Kong
I'll Karaoke beatcha ass with a country music song.
Japan, underwater in the heat of a dying world
I see the heart is vicious inside of every girl.
I'm going freestyle bitches, silence like fucking Linus
till I got something to say and get lost in the fray-
So many messages and dreams that fly by in a flash
I want to act on every one while the world kicks my ass.
Internal struggle, rubble, and festering trouble
My vicious mind starts eating me and the frames of my eyes turn blind
in time I may get back my vision but it comes with a decision
and I feel I gotta rep for my internal step and no derisions
Feel lost and old so I thought I'd write Giacold
Sometimes it feels like meeting people is like being bought and sold.

My first night with you

What breath I've lost and can't retrieve!
And yet my heart beats, calm, relieved?
Into the windows of my mind's desire-
Be still fool's heart, while I think and retire.

a force to be reckoned with

Take me baby sugar pie-
I want your virus deep inside.
Have me now complete and whole-
my goal? Two minds within one soul.

One vessel for a future life-
no longer walking, tip-toed, the edge of the knife-
A vintage team as mortality goes-
and we meander, hand and hand, into an Autumn snow.

The Moonchild's Lament

Dear Moon,

Bequeath to me a happy tale-
for mine rains to the salted rain's drought.
I've sought to be an interpreter but
interpreting misery leaves few ways out.

My cradle has fallen-
there's no rock-a-byes now-
plodding through the shit storms begs the question how-
there could be so many nights like this one in life?
I suppose there's no end to the Cancerian strife.

Yet through it all, I've remembered love and I swoon
Oh! How I hate the many cycles of this moon child's moons.
I think I'll have a hard time sleeping tonight-
So I'll bask in the turmoil of the pallid moon light.

Sensitize

Sensitize me morning girl
as I wake underneath the dew tipped cascade
let me run my fingers through your hair
and bring you close so I can kiss you everywhere.

I want my lips to know your skin
to brave the fears I had within
and give myself inhuman strength
to stop- mid air
and wander your length-

and take you close
so close to me
our bodies become just one
to be
to kiss
to wander free
to deny
our self
our thoughts and the "me"
now we wander
free
as we-

and I can't wait just to be
to know you like I know me-
and for once not to have it all in one place
but to be one person with one face.

So sensitize me morning girl
lie in my arms after the storm
your finger moving around, doing no harm
but letting me see what I cannot adorn-
your face
your body
warm against me
your sighs
your soft
tranquility
your gentle breathing
eyes closed
and free
to love
to lust
to do whatever you please-

and in it all,
to freely love "we"

I'm sensitized my love
I know who I am
I feel you each time I can.

I love you the way
I know how to love
and it's you each time
as I thank somethin' higher
for love.

Smoke Away

And so the ballad begins, in late and dreary times
And all that was and had been, was in the mind.
He thought of her disrobed and so she promised just the same
But what of conscious living could have taught him such a thing?

I know the he is me so just before you psychoanalyze
Just let me tell you of my story and if you don’t take it apart, sympathize.

All my life I’ve dreamed of one who’s perfect in every way,
Beautiful eyes, kissable lips and hips, not big but enough to sway.
This came to me but once and she deserted me as fast she could
When I thought I built a love on steel, it turned out to be driftwood.

Others I’ve had and beautiful to, in every kind of way
Ones who’ve loved and ones who thought and all were focused on foreplay.
I’m tired of the shrew and I have no need for the mole,
If you aren’t going to follow through, you might as well hide in a hole.

It’s blasphemy, the life I’ve lived because I'm definitely an idolater
But women are my idols and it’s hard not to be a follower.
My god it seems each time I’m up, I so quickly come crashing down
And what man cares for another enough to hear when I hit the ground.

Impetuous, blind, lame and dumb
Preposterous, gregarious, self-absorbed, but fun-
Contemptuous, rude, hateful or loathing
It began just getting a beauty out of her clothing.

Now there’s an art and now I must restrict myself
Instead of embracing heaven I’ve seemed to have gone to hell
And it’s not as if I wasn’t expecting getting here
I’ve done my best to be bad and I’ve done it all year

I’ve not crossed my t’s and fuck dotting my I’s
And I’m punished with a girl who hates me and has mammoth thighs
My friends are all posers, my parents are lame
And all this displaced hatred, leaves me with only my self to blame.

I will go crazy and I will lose my mind,
Acting without knowing, is kind of like being blind.

So to end my story well, there really is no point,
For all of you who are happy, go to hell and let me smoke my joint.

Girl

Formed from the fringe
Of heavenly delight-
True joy in the simplicity
She also fights my fight.

In fear I’ll, never again,
Sleep at night-
I don’t think of you
I just close my eyes tight

Just the thought of you
Makes me unwilling to sleep-
I fear I’ll forget you
In my dreams far and deep.

But you are forever now
So I sigh and kill the light
Together in our forever
Everything will be alright.

Television...

Once upon a time there was a long long rhyme in a castle so far far away. Upon a drifting wood, a climber, there, stood and on his gallant steed he lay aghast. He'd climbed all day he climbed by night and fought the red devil upon his back side, for even right now he lay bleeding sound and through his tortured eyes he saw the lights of Camelot and the lights of sod. Poor man, lay in the sand and watched the devil cry. He was on his way to Georgia and was far from northern lies. The gorge was deep the creek Ran sweet, sweet with the sugary taste of blood. The soldier stood and off the hoarse fell into the river deep. God's blessed castle, the castle of Camelot lay still, far, in the distance. There the raven once was blessed, was now sinking in eternal dress, the metal of silver his woven coil over his life saving suit. He'd still be alive if the fool had not tried to protect himself from craven fight, that light! It came from the edges of the world as it grows even smaller. The sandy man dressed in loins leaves as a world is shut down and the shrill cry is muffled so as not to even have time to clutter the evergreen trees. So with the violent killing spree, that lifts the heart and blacks out even evergreen trees, with the violent coup de etat that makes the other world cease to be, now the end has come and off goes the TV.

Self Conviction

I know I love you-
Why should I have to prove this to myself?
But you don’t love me because you don’t trust me-
Or must I admit, there’s no love at all?

If love could only infect you like it did me
I’d bear the brunt of a rhinoceros
Would it were to infect you with my love for thee.

I am unfit for such a proclamation
My track record with woman is shady at best
I fear that you won’t put our love to the test
Or have you already and you’re just holding out?

My heart cannot bear it.
Don’t you know you’re destroying me?
I wish you every joy in the world though,
Because I love you.

I can only miss you
And hope that some day you
Will love me too.

If fire could burn as hot
as the one in my soul when I’m with you
we could heat a city.

Lying next to you
Loving the feeling of warmth and relief
While I’m with you
And your presence tells my mind:
My god she’s finally here.

Fog

Like Romeo and Juliet
And she is the young Capulet.
My road is to become a star
But to do it, I must leave her and travel far.

Friends say sex is all you should ask
Hold back and simply carry the task.
My mind trusts no one and fears the worst
And I, in devastation, feel the thirst.

What if she comes with baggage I don’t know?
What if some things don’t fit or go?
What if she’s dangerous mysteriously-
But delusions and fear aren’t that important to me.

I want her but am blind to the situation
I run on advice, stipulations and regulations
But what if she loved me and wanted to stay
The feeling I felt was instant but I want to know the way.

Regrowing Confidence

I’m handsome, talented, mysterious, young,
Intelligent, sensual, capable and fun.
I’m never too harsh and mean people suck
I’m one in a million baby,
I am Mr. Luck

Cancer of The Brain

Rising like anger
Burning bright like the sun
And when you’re feeling your best-
You’re taken out back and hung.

What in me let’s me know too quick
What it is I want?
Foraging forever and knowing the one.

I beg for cosmic mercy
Torn by what I feel inside
I was born this needy demon
Whoever told you there was a god, lied.

I beg for death
And picture it in my mind
So viscerally vivid
Things that some pass by.

I picture car wrecks I saw in the past
And apply them to the streets
Reliving their last
In one trillion frames at once.

It’s part of all artists
At times, to go insane
I live life the same as anyone, struggling,
Maybe I’ve got cancer of the brain.

Or maybe I can’t release
The tortured moments of my life
I have been fighting forever,
For what I know to be right.

So to conclude: there is no point
To living each day the same
Don’t love or think of love
Or you’ll get cancer of the brain.

Marriage Wishes

So you’re getting married
Creating a new life and home
Live together happily
Because everyone dies alone.

INSOMNIA

There are things out to get me.
From where, I do not know
and why?

I can’t imagine but they are there;
I can hear the noises they make.

Behind our refrigerator
there is a noise that sounds just like
a bushman making click click noises
over and over
and in different tones and speeds.

There are
screams
coming from outside and
the noise of the street lamps is deafening.

I’m tired and I’m not,
I’m going in and out
signing off...

Divine Intervention

Your eyes like crystals
Your hair like flames
All of a sudden I
Knew a magical name.

And when I hear it
My heart pounds like a stud
And when you’re around
I’d ignore everyone.

Because I am blind
When I’m with you
I remember a love
I thought I’d lost in my youth

I am sad that I’m leaving
I’m forced to go away
But it is now because of you
That I want to stay.

You make my heart happy
You help me to breath better
You are everything I’ve ever wanted
Down to the last letter.

It’s a shame that I met you
So late in the game
I’ve never met somebody
Who was so nearly much the same.

I think I might love you but I need to know more
It’s going to hurt tonight, when you walk out my door.

The Quintessential Points of Boredom

Damn the lilies, damn the fields and the fowl.
Damn every living creature including those who hide like barn owls.
Fuck this damn computer,
I don’t even know why I’m writing
Fuck me, fuck you, fuck everybody
Goodnight.

Dear Bunny

I love you bunny,
I hate this job
The people here act macabre.

I’ve ventured too far
Into the world of the mundane
Five minutes without you
Drives me insane.

I speak when I should listen:
Was born to die
I want to be with you
So I can be revived.

To be with you is
To feel alive
Even though we are mortal
And we all slowly die.

Though we all are mortal and over ages we will die
I am thankful for every hour of the day
We call our time.

Rasta Solution

The world is so uncomfortable sober
So I and I just need to toke to make
We closer to the power that is the peace of mind
Until the wars is over.