And there she sat atop her throne of pottery
With such vehement modesty
And waited for the end to come.
She who did not think she wanted
Yet wanted to leave this luxury she flaunted
Sat whining on the whitish protrusion from the floor.
“What of a wasted life I see
atop this useful pottery
nothing but crude graffiti.”
Swimming below me is the sea
Or what leads eventually the sea to me
So I connect myself to the sea.
On her bottom the frosty air
Made love to feelings from “down there”
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
Head Poem 1
Falling past forever
dreaming of home
thinking of you
there's an edge that I can no longer conquer
I slip and fall through nothingness
my greatest fear is that I will die alone.
It's the inevitable fate of all people
but I fear it like I never have anything else.
and at the same time, I desire perfection
because what's the use of living if I'm unhappy with who I have to live it with.
at the same time I just want to be tough
I want to go out and be gangster
I want to be looked at as a kingpin
I don't want to come second to anyone
I'm selfish, I'm a bastard and I've been taught to hate myself because I feel that I am not perfect and therefore don't matter.
So I want to go out and kill if I can't die
I want to be the way rap teaches me to be
I'm different and I know it
and I see that I don't belong here.
I want to let people do what they want but I want to be a part of it.
I wish I could just have someone to wake up to every day who would live to make me happy as much as I would reciprocate those same actions.
where is perfection? What is it and if I can have somebody to tell my feelings to who is she? Why can't I just be normal and just forget about all of this? Why is this pain so strong that I don't know how to ignore it? I think that it's a matter of conciousness. I know too much and have found what I want and I'm just trying to get it. I am destroyed and no longer know how to achieve my goals. Death is not an option because it is irrelivant. Life is not an option because I don't belong. So I'm stuck in limbo. I do what I can and fail at happieness. It doesn't exist. I need this day to take up my sword and win. I shall do that today...
dreaming of home
thinking of you
there's an edge that I can no longer conquer
I slip and fall through nothingness
my greatest fear is that I will die alone.
It's the inevitable fate of all people
but I fear it like I never have anything else.
and at the same time, I desire perfection
because what's the use of living if I'm unhappy with who I have to live it with.
at the same time I just want to be tough
I want to go out and be gangster
I want to be looked at as a kingpin
I don't want to come second to anyone
I'm selfish, I'm a bastard and I've been taught to hate myself because I feel that I am not perfect and therefore don't matter.
So I want to go out and kill if I can't die
I want to be the way rap teaches me to be
I'm different and I know it
and I see that I don't belong here.
I want to let people do what they want but I want to be a part of it.
I wish I could just have someone to wake up to every day who would live to make me happy as much as I would reciprocate those same actions.
where is perfection? What is it and if I can have somebody to tell my feelings to who is she? Why can't I just be normal and just forget about all of this? Why is this pain so strong that I don't know how to ignore it? I think that it's a matter of conciousness. I know too much and have found what I want and I'm just trying to get it. I am destroyed and no longer know how to achieve my goals. Death is not an option because it is irrelivant. Life is not an option because I don't belong. So I'm stuck in limbo. I do what I can and fail at happieness. It doesn't exist. I need this day to take up my sword and win. I shall do that today...
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