Regret for emoting

Of all the goals of those more bold
There's strength in apathy and hearts so cold-
They forge a path with blinded eyes
towards futures of routine and loveless lives.

No life is won without reservation
alas, I hate my full sensations.

Full moon thoughts

The light encrusted soul of old
gleams like dull and greening gold.
Lest fear overwhelm our sympathies-
some of us choose a different person to be.

We strive along the weary road
attempting to flourish on what we know-
and yet we miss out on the souls we've sold
the road not taken is often our own.

So sip sweet nectar vagrant children-
rise to the occasions your drifting goes
one day you'll awaken to the rhythm of the world
or perish without knowing the need to know.

In any case, I can sleep tonight
with the hope you'll join me in this fight
to surrender fake freedoms for doing right
and enjoy love in an effortless plight.

Oh how the doldrums whine tonight
just do right and fight,
your uniquely individual fights.

Missing you

I hate this little college town
and can't stand the Virginia air.
I miss the smell of cat pee
and your voice back when you cared.

I see the things I should have done differently
and cannot change a thing
I love you still and yet you're gone
I'm a robin without its wings.

I'm sorry I couldn't be the man I said I was
I'm sorry for the pain I caused you
and also that we're done.

Life Lesson

Why should we not love completely
if it's in our nature to do so?
The pressure of being who your expected to be
causes the loss of hope.

Being a foreigner to yourself
only closes doors
and causes those with loving energy
to require more and more.

Like the waterfall that's damed completely
there eventually will be a spillway
life cannot always be wrapped so neatly
when your made the lover since birth.

Forget the lap of luxury and
forget the things you're told to want.
Want the things that represent you
want and strive for those, my son.

You could have the road less taken
and you could have your glory
but lost you'll be if you're not true to yourself
and believe me, son, that's a true story.

I've learned from experience that it will hurt if you
try and be someone for someone else
be yourself and you'll at least have you
and with that, this story is shelved.

Checking In

I felt like running but I ended up walking
I felt like screaming but I ended up talking
I felt like breathing but you took my breath away
and now I'm stuck to you even when you push me away.

Sometimes my dreams are better than life
when we both live in such unrelenting strife
I want to see day but now I only see night
"We're glowing like the metal on the edge of the knife."



If I sleep, I hope to wake to my dreams
life is much better in the movie scenes...

Stream of consciousness: 12:59 AM MST 5/11/11

oh that fire water there
ran merrily like a sea
deep into the heart of me
Drunk and stupid like a bee.

I drank to joyful Sally
who loved her handsome men
and fuck and fuck till she was sore
but then she'd do it again.

SING! That fire water there
ran merrily like a sea
deep into the heart of me
drunk and stupid like a bumble bee!!!!

Breaking it down

I make a killing off of fantasy/ never asked for clemency/ too much sugar coats make you blind to this cruel world of reality/ I've had many dreams that have ended in tears/ when all I wanted was to live connected for the rest of my years/ a psycho-analyst can syphon sick, sad stories from a brain/ but can they really solve the case: how to end all the pain? Why reconcile with the mild when you can win the game, insane? Like the lame Charlie Sheen brain/ a 16 year old boy needing to be tamed/ tell you what I'm gonna end this on a positive note: No matter who you are, you'll die: you're life's a f*cking joke.