View from immortality

These Carnal woes do not desist
but plague my fecund mortal mind
and yet I know eternity
between the two I'm blind.

and though I walk the valley of life
I do not see the living
those I see poorly exist
with such smiles unforgiving.

wouldn't a tale of times gone by
abate their paltry claim to suffer
No.
For man so loves his petty pains
sincerity: he'd never entreat.

yet still I lay aghast at them:
these ants who move their grains of sand,
their personal devils sitting at close demand
while holding these souls in the palm of their hands
as they devour such helpings at the table of fear.

What peculiar creatures I live among
but I do not bellittle their plight
rather I pity them for their nothings
for it breaks my heart: those suffering
simply because they can not believe.

Idea Monster

Sometimes I feel like this body isn't real/ like I'm trying to break out of a cell that spells jail.
What if the power on the inside could be acted without/ An abstract concept like non-verbal shouts.  At times I feel skinny and sometimes I feel fat and sometimes I'm amorphous indescribable, abstract/ the motions are the same and my form lives in my head/ sending signals to this shell that can live or be dead but what is living in a form that disgusts you/ distrust you 'cuz I'm here to tell ya man, you are the most likely to bust you.  If god gave me power and immortality, this world would have a hard time trying to reckon me.  Vampires have the weakness of night/ I have the sight in my mind to be something that can't be described/ imbibe my thought sheople! Because you'll never think like me.  To have vision unencumbered by your fears is ecstasy!  I have never feared death 'cuz in my mind I'm alive and fuck past lives I can't see a time I ever died.  Like a lost spirit trapped in a fragile, breakable frame/  I have the memory of immortality locked in my brain.  Don't call me insane! I am not some cheap crazy knock off/  I'm the kind of thinker that has potential to break a whole block off/  Depending on the challenge I am more than what meets the eye/ if seeing is believing, ama have to ask you to try/ to believe in what is abstract because I've never been here/ I'm the truth without the bullshit when I want to be, I'm an idear.  I stack the deck because I represent all moments of chance and advance when those around me fall on good circumstance and I can still feel your thoughts your feelings and emotional instability/  Stop thinking so loud cuz, you'll think yourself to sterility and there's nothing like a mind that can't be fecund with ideas/ trust me, I just see and feel the thoughts of my peers.  College kids are probably about the easiest to read/ "I'm so stressed," "I'm so horny" "If you cut me, do I not bleed?"/
It's a shame that at a time of learning some people are one dimensional/  It's all too coincidental if you ask me, it's intentional.  I feel with full range and I'm a nut in society/ but I've known my share of fame and there's nothing more lonely than notoriety/ and piety:  these little fuckers think they're blessed for not cursing/  but I don't want to hear the speech you little actors have been rehearsing.  If you truly knew god you'd see he's cruel and he's kind/ but chaos motivates this existence like some are motivated by Kine.  So legalize that shit and try it, maybe open up your mind and if it's not for you don't take the medicine from people on hard times.  I believe in the life I'm living and I'm not ashamed of the life I lived but I would like to break this barrier and become the idea that I've always been.

The wake

Devil's in the doorway- shepherd's just beyond
I fear'd I might just see ye
In the great beyond.

The war that we a' seed
And fought the winding way
Is naught compared tae silence
At close of winter's day.

'Tis good tae know to win
'Tis better how tae lose
I'd love tae live forever
But then I'd a' tae choose

Which battle I can win
And which I'd a' tae lose
I'd rather a' life fulfilled
Then endless days of youth.

So here I am, the old man
Here I am the child
The devil's in the doorway
And the frame is half a mile.

Devil in the doorway, shepherd's just beyond

"I stand in doorways with cloven hoof
And words as sweet as pois’n
To fix the mend we all defend
that is free will of man."

Arrested with our minds in tune
To all the glory we consume
In life ephemeral we will bloom
And then descend the wretched tomb.

And yet his wings outstretch and cradle

Or give appearance of the warmth
That greets us in our mortal comfort
With what we fathom as real.

I’m not a meal to his delight
But ev’n I don’t have the sight
For I can’t tell you with these words
The dangers of the mindless herd.

"The Shepard brings the flock to keep
But see me now, this angel weeps
For first before you cross the door
You’ll see him there and he’ll offer more.

I offer only peace in death
And yet you’d have the life of fire
The burning relief of your desire
And things that you can touch and feel-

For this you’ll be his feast at dusk
You’ll never make it through the door
But in for this wink, he’ll offer more
And for one life he’ll give you more."

A Pirate Song

I take to the galley I took to the sea
And one and one and one that's three
So I swung to the left and you just hit me
So I swung to the right, what's this trickery?

You're dancing in triples and two of you's ghosts
That's quite a good trick to be three of a bloke
And you all look alike so I say we get pokes
In the salty saloon down by sugar cane ropes-

That sit on the ships down in old yonder dock
If we can't fight with swords we'll fight with our cock-
a-mamey schemes we hatched on our way here
to sink these old schooners and drink some more beers-

And we'll watch those crotchety captains get all up in arms
And shout, "keep it steady!" As they intend us much harm-

But if we be shot then we'll fall in the drink
And we'll haunt those sea Barron's
With our funk and our stink
And we'll have forever to go sailing.

The Benefits to Limbo

Nights of crystalline calm-
Of perfect beauty in insular embrace.
The wind blew cold and the snow muted the din
Of cars that seemed a forever away.

I sat on stools that grew into buildings
A blissful throne in nowhere familiar.
Enthralling! to be in my home not home
So far away and commanding alone.

Though I felt the sorrow abounding
Surrounding me like walls tend to go with no roof
I knew there was a capstone missing in my life
But the thrill of finding it was more exciting that the success.

My eyes would twinkle with thoughts of the journey
And the wind spoke loud and I'd followed it so long.
Now I've found my place and the wind's deaf inside
There's nowhere to hide when you've accomplished your goals.

I would say to those looking for happiness
To keep looking because the journey is the happiest you'll be.

Ambition or "Truly Conscious" Oblivion

To be simple is an easy goal
with avenues to many things-
like being smart which is difficult
but read enough and do enough
and it's something anyone can swing.

Wisdom is a bit more tricky
but a simple man with convictions
can understand the little things
and see the world, objectively,
with all its movement and friction.

I'd like to think the highest goal
is to be a part of that ooze:
the simplistic chaos that's life ticking like a clock
and the ability to connect to all things.

There was a time that I connected
but my connection wasn't real
and in my days of drugs and visions
there were so many things I thought I felt-

So many things that I could see and to connect I had to separate-
to lose the rhythm and the rhyme and meter and all of a sudden become outside the bubble that was humanity till I could look inside.

And I cried at the knowledge
for how much I saw and realized with full awareness as I floated in the emptiness outside of the movement of the world, watching the movement of the world in ambiguity.

I found others like me who existed outside and they were just as miserable as me so I tried to get back in and found
there was no way, no doorway to normality
that normality was lack of this sensuality
and it was hammered like steel
until this order became what I should feel.

and every now and then it's like the metal frame
of a cot pressed close to the electric radiator:
I feel the sporadic jolt of a time since passed,
I can enter and I can live there
but
in order for me to last
in this world of order and dignified misers,
I must forget the ooze and the level beyond wise
where one exists to exist and watch the lies
and know and think and surmise...
As if to illustrate my point,
it seems I'm no longer connected to that life.

At least not in this moment.