Suicide Song (I read the bible today)

I read the bible today.
Jesus said to look the other way
And so I did and saw the day-
Falling as I hit the floor.

I swore every man was equal under god
But then I read John
Who told me I was not-
If my savior was not Jesus Christ.

I swore my sins to pass away
But they seem to fall on god’s deaf ears
Passover night I was washed away
By living with Passover wine.

I swore today to kill myself-
But I didn’t have the courage.
Knife in hand, the world, my foe-
But Jesus said to look the other way.

Lubov

From beginning to middle to end, my dear
love is like an island in the carabean.
Away from troubles and debt to pay
and clearly taken care of each day
but without the subtleties of stress.

When you're with me, forget all those,
you're lost at sea and barely clothed-
proverbially naked so all can see
who you are so they can love you
for who you be.

There's nothing to hide amongst our love
because I'm not looking for someone strong
I am the island, I'm not looking at all
my shores await you for your sleep.

So you might have a chance to weep
so you might have the chance to be free.
When you're with me, I'm your getaway
and I judge nothing 'cept you're made out of clay

like Adam and Eve, we have our garden today
and nothing can go wrong unless you might say
"I have to..."

When you're around me you have nothing to give
the only thing I ask is that you live.

My Love Lubov

The breeze flows in upon the night
I see you in sleep as blessed with sight
I hold you and dream of our Zanzibar home
With you, I'd never be alone

As long as I wake to your passion brown eyes
Even with crooks should I sympathize
for nothing so beautiful is like your hair
making my stomach warm and warming everywhere

your smile is that of one thousand graces
and I see your beauty in a million faces
as I can never escape your aura
I am stuck with you today and tommorow

I linger in duldrums until I'm without you
A face takes a poem but you have taken two
rest well my lovely for we meet in our dreams
but without you a dream is just what it seems

I wake to you tomorrow
until I see your face I'll cry with sorrow
but all you need give is an upward glance
and this poor soul becomes entranced

Yes just one gaze shall make my life
and all that was wrong shall soon become right.

To Worship

I wake to tepid morning air
expected to see you but you weren't there.
The fear of day glorifies the night
to see truly is to do it without sight.

Harken to the alter now
to give whole hearted from above the brow
the hearts of men are heaven sent
behold the irrelivant become relivant again

So I bequeath my sword to you
to plunder or build as you might do
but heed my warnings and my prayer
wherever you go, god is there.

My child, see right as right is true
in verdent pastures, it also seeks you
steadfast glory or stray from the flock
await thy wrath or bounty on your block

I wake to ardent nightmares too
but never should I wake, if not for you.

Drivel

Once in a world
Where time and space spin endlessly on strings
And the problems all come together like a swirling evil mass
A woman is created out of hardship and woe,
A car crash a year ago.
How long can one ail?
Pretty long I suppose and its problems on me bail.
Who's wrong if right's a joke
The people in power could on power, choke.
Parents are a dictatorship,
Stronger than any
A monarchy, a totalitarian style ass of themselves
Don't I wish I could vote?
Don't I wish there was a peoples choice award?
Well, that's called divorce
But that was their decision not mine.
A baby takes a lot of work but not that much,
Especially when you aren't working but rather just giving
She asks
They comply
They don't comply
She tells
She rules because it is her child,
Nothing else matters.
I'm not her kid.
My dad loves me
To a degree
And to please him she acts submissively.
A cynic in her ways
Nothing ever changes
I'm just a kid and so is she
Although my sister does gain respect from at least the baby.
I don't care perhaps I'll go
Legal restrictions are all that tie me to this household
But I don't care
Even my sentences are run-ons
My mind's just drivelling now and hate ensues it,
Makes it stupid
Makes me high
But not feel right
I've lost all warm things inside
I feel cold in this household and not just because it's cold.
She hates me, they both do
And I hate all three of them
I could seek sanctuary with my mom
But not until
I'm sure they hate me as much as I do them
The girls on this side are corrupt
Reigning like queens
We're susceptible to everything
She says she's sick and everything hurts
Well I'm dead and whatever she's got hurts me worse.
I'm sure now
Who cares
Who would
I'll just disappear
Like I should,
Like I should.

Innuendo

Her curves were natural
and fit to kill.
Her lips were mine, lateral
and night grew hotter still!

Summer time when the air is hot
I layed next to her.
Then she touched my every spot,
there I did inter,

my concience saying no.
All I went was on
say it isn't so,
when I wake up, she'll be gone

restored law and order.
she had sheded my clothing hide
I was under torture
but came out, the other side.

Hit Hard

Tell me of the path I must walk
tell me of the kind of man I would be to walk it.
The right man for everyone
becomes everyone's fool to change.
I am the lone for my personality is my doom.
It changes never,
and this is all that filled my mothers womb.
In birth I was filled with myself
but downcast I am for years of being told I was in the wrong.
Raised by quakers I must now join animosity
but nature shows if I did I'd join hypocrisy.
Born in peace I am what I am
and altruism has been my set plan.
Nobody flocks
nobody cares
my soul with my kind now sits in despair.
My families are gone
those left
are chained by blood
no friends that live near
besides they who deem me crud.
one family do I belong
but at times I feel I do not
as stupid as I am
good friends leave me for other squat.
I am left with those who don't care
who I must live with and deal with
but I know they're unhappy I'm there.
After my life is lived and I die under god,
my funeral will leave me few or no people
who for me will plod.
I fear my soul is dead
and for my companions they tred
to the land where they were wanted
and there they said,
"do unto others
as you would have them do unto you"
and at these words my lazy body will leave them
truly dead.