Ya...

Oh lovely,
lonely,
damnable disease.
I've gotten to know
these walls after days.

Not with a color
but a bitter-clear haze-
I think I'll need a mallet
to fall back to sleep
like an insomniac plague-

and yet I'll keep fighting
when my brain's wasted away.

you know...

Spitting, free rhyming/ I'm fucking timing attacks/ guess who's timing just the right time to come back? I'm drunk as hell riding up inside the rhythm what's up/ Just one more reason for the kid to get fucked up.

I got the girl who's straight fine/ I do the grind into her horizontal blind/ like the roots said, "I push my seed in her bush for life." It ain't no rock and roll though/ don't get it twisted/ so evil and vicious I use Patron on my mistress/ and I'll be holding the still-born like a ham at Christmas. Been to hell and I didn't take a step off earth/ I took the Ferry to Brooklyn to see young bloods battle for turf/ I'm the watcher recording evil so I'm ready to give it/ you can't believe the shit I've seen you just got to sit back and live it/ and hope there's a benevolent god and that his shit is forgiving.

Commitment to Destruction

You
Sheep of the world
not following a Sheppard
but wandering
alone.

Why do your feelings lie
in disconnection?
True apathy is a skill
it takes commitment
ironically...

Bedroom Eyes

Girl you've got those bedroom eyes
that speak in mystery and I-
wish I were with you that I might see
those bedroom eyes staring right through me.

Those curious eyes that want something
and I wish I knew just what to bring
because for you I'd take on god
but bedroom eyes are tired so I nod-

off to sleep to see you in forever
maybe some day I'll have them or maybe never.

A silent prayer

So here I am at the edge of the sand
staring off into the ocean of blue
hoping some day I'll come home to you.

I've crossed oceans and searched the world
for a bed to lay my head on
and waking and sleeping, waking and sleeping
praying your with me at dawn.

Stream of conciousness

I feel this hot disaster
These reckless thoughts within
my mind

Teaming with swollen bastards
I feel the truth is harder
to find

Death eats me with a spoon
and circles circle around
the moon

I finish my cup of tea and
spin and spin in drunk reality

I swoon from endless nightmares
it seems my mind is gone.
Peace is this chaos brewing
forever laughing at what's wrong

In truth I'm filled with goodness
and once in a while I let this out
the chaos in my mind
from bottling
bottling
chaotic time!

Sing songs of lost renewal
and find the devil of your own
one day you'll wake to darkness
realizing you die before his throne.

Contempt we hold for eachother
each one of us dies
ALONE!

Growing up

A silent cold rushes over my skin
clammy in midsummer-
I feel the tears and all the pain
but wreak to hell of the distant dead.

Where am i now but stranded and alone-
doubted by my heart and viciously re-born by my kin.
I know little about the road ahead
and visions and fear over take my eyes-

so much so i feel farsighted and dead-
like a corpse looking up from its unholy bed.

I know what i want and cannot achieve it
so alone i am because i sever my ties.
Either I'll grow stronger and learn to live on pittens
or i'll be happy i made the attempt
and unobtrusively die.