Be a Deer, won't you?

If you were to ask me, "What do you think of human beings?"
I would say, “Imagine a cold, winter day. As you sit
at your dining room table munching on venison or veal, and staring
out the window, bemused at the deer foraging for food in the snow,
you might say or think, ‘Such sad and majestic creatures,'
and then turn your attention to an article about how red meat can kill
you as you move on from the irony of it all.”

After years of struggling to blend into his groups,
man is deer to me

Memories of the Snow

Across the pale and frost lit sheen
Aglow with orange muted life
The snowflakes speak as they lay down and cuddle
With the still and calm of 3 am night-

In a lifeless Pennsylvanian hamlet
Where a single road makes up the town
Like the nile, it feeds the warm bobble heads
As they sleep softly in their hollowed homes.

And yet outside the wind whispers triumphs
Of all it's seen and where it might go
Because all who know the wind know
It's never content with banks of snow

But here I sit with the whispering drifts
Who form embankments on the side of the road
To talk and whisper of the snowplow's brutality
As more arrive to coat the road.

Like a gathering of children when the oogy kid comes through
They may part for snow plows but they crowd again when they go
And as they do, they whisper and cuddle
And pack this winter wonder under the orange light bulb.

How brilliant the casual insomniac must be
To sit here with my cigarette in the muted din
And listen to the bluster of the snow from within
The embankments and glorious break from life

Tomorrow everything exists but it's on pause tonight.

Ghosting

Sometimes I feel I'm ghosting in this world
a vagrant memory of battles lost-
a triviality like a tea light flame
evanescing inside a beautifully adorned pot.

I shined so brightly in that moment I burned
and I was connected once to the people I knew
and now like a rainy, foggy day,
I search through the mists of purgatory.

My best friends are words on a screen
a recognizable emotion in a name:
Glenn means wisdom, Alex means fun,
Sasha means someone when there is no one-

but most of the rest, as much as I enjoy them
belong to the category of wisps in the wind.
a foot hold on a cliff of insurmountable odds
and I don't even recognize myself, "who's Rens?"

I've got no mobility and nowhere I can get to
I live on an island that I call home-
and sometimes I have a companion
and sometimes I'm alone-

but even my Tonto has connections and friends
and family and people who appreciate her-
why do I exist here, who is this ghost I fear
every time that I look in the mirror.

A beautiful lie

My dearest little boy
Fret naught as you shut your eyes
for wonders await you in dream land
as this day dies.

For there are millions and billions of kids
beyond the veil of the darkness of your room
so sleep my sweet little child and soon
you will be in the dreamland of the children of the world.

There are playgrounds and jungle gyms like you wouldn't believe
so fantastic that I assure you, not even daddy could perceive
of what fun you will have in your beautiful dream
but to get there, don't be late: and he drifts off to sleep.

Time Travel is a Mental State

Yesterday is today is tomorrow.
See only now and you'll have no sorrow
But to lose track of time
guarantees the lost mind.

In Time I've seen such amazing things
With a moment to think I lose my world
I graduate college and end up with a different girl
But I'd give it all up to get off this tilt-a-whirl.

The key is dissonance and distracting my brain
Destroying deep thought so I can attain the same
Dark and dreary moments of devilish un-truth
Come out when I relive my youth and/or see soothe-

Because yes, they can happen at the exact same time
as way leads unto way and reality unwinds

is any of it real or does it happen in the mind?
why am I so exhausted when I'm back to this life?

Dear GOD! Is this a gift or a curse that I own?

Surrounded by people and yet I'm alone

and if I am there, is there here? Where's home?

Forever exists when: all of time, you can roam.

Yesterday is tomorrow is today and so forth

when you lose track of time, you become something more.

View from immortality

These Carnal woes do not desist
but plague my fecund mortal mind
and yet I know eternity
between the two I'm blind.

and though I walk the valley of life
I do not see the living
those I see poorly exist
with such smiles unforgiving.

wouldn't a tale of times gone by
abate their paltry claim to suffer
No.
For man so loves his petty pains
sincerity: he'd never entreat.

yet still I lay aghast at them:
these ants who move their grains of sand,
their personal devils sitting at close demand
while holding these souls in the palm of their hands
as they devour such helpings at the table of fear.

What peculiar creatures I live among
but I do not bellittle their plight
rather I pity them for their nothings
for it breaks my heart: those suffering
simply because they can not believe.

Idea Monster

Sometimes I feel like this body isn't real/ like I'm trying to break out of a cell that spells jail.
What if the power on the inside could be acted without/ An abstract concept like non-verbal shouts.  At times I feel skinny and sometimes I feel fat and sometimes I'm amorphous indescribable, abstract/ the motions are the same and my form lives in my head/ sending signals to this shell that can live or be dead but what is living in a form that disgusts you/ distrust you 'cuz I'm here to tell ya man, you are the most likely to bust you.  If god gave me power and immortality, this world would have a hard time trying to reckon me.  Vampires have the weakness of night/ I have the sight in my mind to be something that can't be described/ imbibe my thought sheople! Because you'll never think like me.  To have vision unencumbered by your fears is ecstasy!  I have never feared death 'cuz in my mind I'm alive and fuck past lives I can't see a time I ever died.  Like a lost spirit trapped in a fragile, breakable frame/  I have the memory of immortality locked in my brain.  Don't call me insane! I am not some cheap crazy knock off/  I'm the kind of thinker that has potential to break a whole block off/  Depending on the challenge I am more than what meets the eye/ if seeing is believing, ama have to ask you to try/ to believe in what is abstract because I've never been here/ I'm the truth without the bullshit when I want to be, I'm an idear.  I stack the deck because I represent all moments of chance and advance when those around me fall on good circumstance and I can still feel your thoughts your feelings and emotional instability/  Stop thinking so loud cuz, you'll think yourself to sterility and there's nothing like a mind that can't be fecund with ideas/ trust me, I just see and feel the thoughts of my peers.  College kids are probably about the easiest to read/ "I'm so stressed," "I'm so horny" "If you cut me, do I not bleed?"/
It's a shame that at a time of learning some people are one dimensional/  It's all too coincidental if you ask me, it's intentional.  I feel with full range and I'm a nut in society/ but I've known my share of fame and there's nothing more lonely than notoriety/ and piety:  these little fuckers think they're blessed for not cursing/  but I don't want to hear the speech you little actors have been rehearsing.  If you truly knew god you'd see he's cruel and he's kind/ but chaos motivates this existence like some are motivated by Kine.  So legalize that shit and try it, maybe open up your mind and if it's not for you don't take the medicine from people on hard times.  I believe in the life I'm living and I'm not ashamed of the life I lived but I would like to break this barrier and become the idea that I've always been.